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“They say you should be careful what you wish for,” he said flatly.“You’ve watched it?”“All of it,” he replied unemotionally.“Are you upset?” I asked, moving a little closer.I put my hand on his shoulder. He winced and moved away, then thought better of it and sat back. A moment later his fingers were on mine, his eyes fixed on the blank screen.“I honestly don’t know how I feel,” he said. “It’s either the worst day of my life or the best one. Or both all at once.”“It’s what you said you wanted.”I told him this quietly but firmly though in truth there was no sign of him reacting angrily.“Did you… enjoy watching?” I asked. “You’ve wanted to for a long time.”He laughed hollowly.“I don’t think enjoy is the right word.”“Okay then, was it all you wanted it to be?”Pete pushed back in his chair and swivelled towards me. Instinctively I knelt next to him, still holding his hand. Our heads level, he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. He tasted salty; he had been crying.“It was the most erotic. His parents were so upset about the atrocious loss, none of us had the courage to ask anything more than what we've been told by them."Atrocious loss? My heart stopped beating for one, infinite second."Are you really telling me... that... he."I couldn't even end my sentence, my mother had to the ingrate job for me: "Dylan is dead. Honey... I'm so sorry..."Maybe I'd sound like such a hypocrite, but the pain was real.And it was destroying me, from the inside: a dark shadow, swallowing my soul, my inner light."Please, just tell me the day of the funeral, I'll be at home." The fact, honey... The fact is, his parents have informed the town only after the funeral. We didn't have the chance to say him goodbye for the last time. Just the family."Everything was fucking insane: the one who was my best friend, the one who I deliberately treated like garbage and trashed in a can.He was gone.Quite frankly, I do not even remember the rest of the words my mother and I exchanged at the phone: all I.
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